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Saturday, February 27, 2010 @ 12:04 PM

Whatever happens, happens for a reason. Who you meet, what you will do today, tomorrow and yesterday, death, birth. Its all interconnected to make you become a better person in the end. I wanna believe that im becoming a better person and this 'tests' im facing are all crash courses for me to become that person. I don't felt like i gave up, more like i step up to take the hard decision. Not because it was easier, but because it was the only way left. Im the most stupidest person in the world because i wasted so many tears because of this. We can't turn back time but we can change our future.

Im unbelievably depressed right now but i know it's all worth it. I can't have everyone in life and i don't expect to anymore. I wanna be able to live with myself. To look in the mirror and not feel disgusted and ashamed. I tried everything. There's nothing else that i can do. There's nothing else that i have to say. I don't deserve all this negative energy, I've always been a happy-go-lucky kinda girl and that kinda changed recently, i want to get that girl back and throw this confused and cautious girl away, far far away.

When will be my time to shine though? Its been such a lonely road so far..