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Wednesday, November 4, 2009 @ 10:41 PM

SECRETS

It was in the middle of the night. I was just about to forget about all my problems when my body started writhing in pain. My body tossed and turned on my small bed. My fluffy white blankets was drenched with my sweat. I started whimpering and clawing my head. Wishing for immediate death. My face was contorted with the pain. I wondered how long i could handle the pain before i would pass out.

The next morning my mother woke me up with worry lines covering her face. Her eyes were filled with concern and pity. That sight did not make me feel better. Realizing that my pain is making my loved ones worry is even worse than the pain i have to go through at night. I hugged my mother tightly, soothing her. We were all at a loss. We knew that nothing could be done to chase the pain away. The pills I swallow every morning would just prolonged it.

In school, i would be the happy, bubbly girl. Smiling and giggling at almost everything. My best friend, Amber would be my pillar of strength. Pushing me through another day. I could never imagine telling her my secret. She would suffer just like my mother. I would loathe the questions and unnecessary pity that will sure follow suit.

"Amber, I'm heading to the ladies for a minute. I'll see you in our chemistry lab later okay?" I did not wait for her reply and dashed towards the ladies.

As soon as i realised it was empty, i emptied my whole bag and search for my painkillers. I could feel my whole body aching with the pain. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks. I was on all fours searching for my pills. Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed my body and gave me my painkillers and a bottle of water. It was Amber.

Surprisingly Amber's face was only filled with worry. She did not ask me anything. I was confused. I was crying on the floor searching for my pills and she was not even asking why.

"I knew about your brain tumor for months now. I was wondering why you lost a lot of weight and kept disappearing to go to the ladies. I was curious so i checked your bag and saw all your pills Jill. I went to your mum and she told me everything. You do not have to suffer all alone you know. I will always be here to help." Amber's voice was filled with hope and love. She hugged me tightly and kept saying how everything will be fine.

I always thought i was the one with all the secrets. It seems Amber had kept one from me as well. It was a relief. My secret does not feel that heavy to me now. Amber has always been my pillar of strength. I realized some secrets are never meant to be shared, others are never meant to be kept alone. The pain at night is still unbearable but Amber and my mother will always be there for me. The thought of waking up to meet them everyday always put a huge smile on my pale face.



One of my english essay from my Olevels days. Found it in my desktop today & i thought it was not that bad. I missed writing stories. Essays are not fun when you have to talk about pressure sores & World War 2. Had a long day today. & will have a long day tomorrow too. Damn, kinda hating school.

BlurBlur just had his mango-scented bathe. He's so sweet smelling now. :D